Vogue magazine senior editor Valerie Steiker wrote in a recent New Yorker magazine ("Dressing for Dinner," December 24 & 31, 2001),
The day my mother got her first period, she told her mother in the morning. Her mother and stepfather were having a dinner party that evening, and as the guests settled in in the living room her stepfather called for her to come in, then announced to all the adults what had happened that day, embarrassing her in front of everyone in the guise of of celebrating the fact. She stood there, shamed, not wanting to believe it was happening, hoping that she could crawl back into bed and that this news, this horrible man, would go away.
This happened in Antwerp, Belgium, right after World War II, in a well-to-do Jewish family. Ms. Steiker's first book, and memoir, "The Leopard Hat," appears in May, and if it is as interesting as this personal history, will be worth reading.
A restaurant gives away tampons and pads
Fascinating Web site. I found it while cruising the 'Net in a sort of "porno mood," but was quickly involved beyond the prurient!
I'm a guy, and, as such, am interested in all things female. I also happen to manage a restaurant/tavern. Some years ago, I was querying a female patron about ways we could add to women's convenience. She perked up right away, and told me about a restaurant she had visited which had a ladies room equipped with hair spray, hand lotion - and a basket of tampons and pads, free of charge. She was quite impressed with the thoughtfulness behind such accessories being readily available in such a setting.
I went right out and bought the stuff the next day. The response was overwhelming! Some women were very up front about their positive feelings; other, more modest individuals were more comfortable couching their comments in generalized side references.
I know for a fact that, from a purely business standpoint, the program has been a success. Our town has a walkable party and restaurant district, and many women drag their dates in after hours to address a menstrual emergency by a quick trip to our ladies room. And, while they are here, often a drink or a snack is consumed.
There are a couple of things about this that amaze me, though.
One, is that the practice hasn't caught on elsewhere in town.
The other is the attitude of my staff. One might expect the stocking of such items to be a woman's prerogative; after all, what kind of empirical product knowledge could I, a man, possibly have in this area?! However, none of the female employees has the slightest inclination to take on this responsibility. They will, however, instruct me (or tease me!) if I procure the WRONG KIND of product, that is, pantiliners that are two fat for comfortable use.
This opens up a whole Pandora's Box (an apt allusion, don't you think?) of issues about how people deal with menstruation, modesty and privacy.
Personally, I have never been squeamish about such things.
I just take it as a biological fact, and find it, as ALL things female, quite natural and fascinating because of its "otherness" to my experience. [That's just my attitude.]
(I remember an old girlfriend being astounded that I found it a bonding intimacy to remove her tampon, myself, before lovemaking.)
It's interesting to me that you (apparently) aren't female either and that you went to the trouble to curate this "museum."
Would a woman have thought of it? [That's what I've wondered for years. Maybe women are too close to it?]
Sincerely,
The writer later added,
It strikes me that women might not appreciate how emotionally liberating their hormonal swings can be!
Croatian woman discusses her menstrual customs, men's underwear, and much more!
I'd like to thank you for this great Web site that provided me with loads of information on the history of menstruation. I'm into costume designing and through that, into historical research in general and I was always wondering about how it was before. Here I found really thorough research concerning history, religion and culture and I still haven't checked even 30 percent of the Web site!
I'm from Croatia and live in Germany. My own mother believed you shouldn't wash your hair while menstruating because that could advance your bleeding, but that was just a less rigid form of belief that you shouldn't wash at all at that time, that somewhat older women maintained. [Read the writer's very possible explanation towards the bottom of this letter.] We had an old teacher, though, who told us that in rural society women did use things for collecting the blood, usually old rags and mops they would wash and use again. This information could at least apply for the 20th century and I know that even my great-grandmother had decent underwear and she was a peasant woman. It could be that they would wear pants only during the period so that they could support their rags and pads because folklorists say that no underwear was a usual state. [Read more about this.]
There is something interesting about men's underwear because under their trousers (that were mostly veeeeery wide - trust me: I made myself a skirt out of only one leg from my father's national costume!) they still liked having something to stop their "ownings" [genitals] from bouncing around. Those weren't actually pants, but little crotch bits like, if I may say, a cock-sock. They are now very interesting to see in the Ethnological Museum in Zagreb because they are very nicely made, usually knit, and they have those colorful Croatian national motives. These things would be knit or fenced by wives who, obviously, knew the right dimensions [!].
In that society everything concerning women's "problems" wasn't the problem of men. They didn't want to know about periods and in some earlier times women even had to leave the house when giving birth because that was none of men's business, so to speak. Even later, when woman would give birth in the house, the male members of the household would usually go out for a drink while that was going on and somebody would come and tell them when it was over. The usual question would be: "Is it a boy or a child?" so you can imagine how embarrassing it was to get a girl [!].
However, things concerning sexual activity and intercourse were very popular. You can find some motives on those cock-socks, blankets and pillows that are quite obviously stylized vaginas and penises. There is evidence of specific kinds of men's shoes that had a piece of mirror glass attached to the toe-part, so that men could always check what's under a skirt. And not to mention some very explicit, but today completely unfamiliar songs from eastern parts of Croatia. Some of them even mention menstruating. I, in particular, remember a few supposed-to-be humorous verses about a girl with a period who is going to the well and the author's concern that she will pollute all the water, which again could be compared with customs of some African and North American tribes not to send menstruating women for the water because they might pollute it. That could also be compared with the non-bathing custom during the period because before the invention of the tub that could have only been possible in rivers and streams that are supposed to provide people with drinking water. [That is a great suggestion!]
I really appreciate your work for the museum and wish you luck in future!
Regards,
[The writer also contributed to "Would you stop menstruating if you could?"]
She wants improvements to Stayfree pads
I wish to make some suggestions regarding Stayfree pads:
1. Regarding the Long, Overnight pads, I wish your company would produce a line of them without the wings. Personally, I find the wings irritate my inner thighs. Otherwise, that particular pad is perfect for my needs.
2. Rather than require the purchaser to mail in UPC codes and cash register receipts, why not just provide a store-redeemable coupon? I would be more inclined take advantage of a special saving by redeeming a coupon at the market. If you have more than one product on your cash register receipt that requires mailing to different companies, you have problems since all of them insist on "original" receipts. [It could be companies put these obstacles in customers' ways to save themselves money.]
I would appreciate acknowledgement of your receiving this message.
Thank you very much for your consideration of these suggestions.
[I told the writer that she should also direct this message to the company.]
Coded entries in 1892 diary
I'm trying to find out what the ladies in the day of 1892 called their monthly periods. [Possibly something to do with "sickness" or "illness," or "unwell" or "indisposed."] I am trying to read an 1892 diary written by my great-grandmother. It refers to illness as DN or DV. I'm trying to understand what she is referring to. Please help. thanks,
[Any ideas? Send them to me and I'll forward them.]
Did her uncle invent the first commercial menstrual pad?
Harry,
My search for genealogical information led me to your web site, which probably seems like an odd connection. I was trying to verify a family tradition, however, that involves feminine products. I was wondering if you might have any information of the matter.
My mother told me that her uncle Stanley Howell invented the first commercial feminine napkin. He could have applied for a patent for this product, but he wanted it to be widely and inexpensively available for women. Have you found any information about Stan in putting together your museum? [No, I haven't. Does anybody know about this? E-mail me if so.]
Stan probably was born in the 1890s. He lived for a time in Seattle, Washington, where he opened an electrical appliance store (also reputed in family tradition to be the first of its kind in Seattle).
If you have any information on Stan, I would love to hear it.
Thanks.
Judith Hawkins
Birthing center creates Web site
Dear MUM,
I found your Web site through a Google search, and really like it.
I am putting together a Web site for a nonprofit freestanding midwife-run birthing center in Knoxville, Tennessee, the Lisa Ross Birth & Women's Center.
This is my first Web site project and I am doing it as a volunteer-amateur.
I have put up a link to MUM on our "resources & links" page and would like to know if it's OK to do so. [Sure - no need to ask] Thanks so much for your time in responding, you have a really super site. Our Web site is www.lisarosscenter.org
Jackie Kittrell
She uses The Keeper menstrual cup and cloth pads
I just saw The Keeper tips someone sent you, and I was astounded: FOUR paper towels and a special collapsible cup?! [Many people have sent their tips and experiences to this site; I don't know where this response is, but check throughout the past news pages and here - older responses. See the Keeper on this site and on its own Web site. Read an incomplete history of menstrual cups.] To each her own, I suppose, but I've found such elaborate rituals unnecessary, and I've used The Keeper for four years, with heavy enough flow that I empty it in the public restroom at work at least once a day. Wiping it with toilet paper is completely adequate, followed by a thorough hand washing.
For a while I used The Keeper 24 hours a day, even though it always leaked when I stood up in the morning. Then I discovered cloth pads [see some], which I now use at night. I'd always hated disposable pads, but the cloth ones are much more comfortable. Funny how the problems disposable pads are always bragging about reducing - chafing, odor, icky sensation - are all resolved by using cloth! There IS some work involved in cleaning them, but I find it about as much work as washing pantyhose - no big deal.
Thanks for maintaining this incredible site!
And SHE likes Instead menstrual cup
I love the Instead product [see it, and go to its own Web site], even if it's not quite perfect, and even if it's not reusable. However, after reading so many other comments, I intend to start washing and reusing it; after all, it seems awfully sturdy and if you clean it, then reinsertion should be no big deal.
As for it's "performance" - well, I must be just a smidgen off of the "perfect size" for this particular gadget, as I get some leaking, but usually it's pretty minor. I wear pantyliners with it, and as others have mentioned, bowel movements definitely cause it to shift and so I usually take it out if I need to perform that particular bodily function. Oh, and if I REALLY need to be sure there's no leak, I admit I've tucked a small o.B tampon in after it, like for swimming. Later, I take that out and just carry on with the Instead on its own, backed up by a pantyliner.
Yup, you can wear it during sex (like, wow!). I still find there is often some mess associated with the adventure, but much less than otherwise, and none at all on a low-flow day.
I've considered the Keeper, but the whole suction idea has me a little nervous (hickeys on the inside seem inevitable, and that just doesn't sound good, eh?), but I may still give it a try.
As for all the hullabaloo about the mess - it's really not all that bad. Since you can wear it for so long, quite often you CAN make it to a private bathroom where the sink is within reach, and at other times, well, I have to admit I've been known to take it out, dump it, and just put it right back in if it was really full and I was stuck. A bit of toilet paper cleans the worst off your fingers (I only ever have my index and middle finger with anything on them), you can get dressed holding those fingers away from your clothes and then scrub up at the sink. Sure, you need to give those cuticles an extra scrub, but hey, they probably needed it anyway.
It's not really any messier than a tampon - tell me you've never pulled one out that was really soaked and left drip marks on the floor, or had to wrap one in tons of toilet paper just to get it safely stashed in the garbage and gotten mucky in the process, or found splatter marks on the underside of the toilet seat (or on your clothes)? (Okay, YOU haven't, you're "just a guy" ... but your readers will get the idea!)
So yup, I'm a big fan. It's absolutely divine not having to worry about it all day, not having that yukky string to pull out of the way every time you need to pee, not having to stash messy wads of blood soaked cotton in the garbage all the time. And then sex, too - wow.
Carry on, I'm impressed with the site!
:)
A Canadian Instead Fan
Menstrual tracker for the pocket PC
We thought visitors to your site would be interested in knowing we have released a menstrual tracker for pocket PC.
PocketWoman from Mobile Systems /www.mobi-systems.com/ is a monthly cycle tracking software for Pocket PC, which rightly meets the needs of today's busy women.
Pocket Woman keeps track of your cycle so you don't have to! It:
* Keeps record of your basal temperature;
* Keeps record of your bleeding;
* Calculates your past menstrual cycles;
* Makes predictions of your upcoming menstruation dates;
* Makes predictions of your upcoming ovulation dates;
* Shows when you are most likely to be fertile;
* Displays your records in a calendar diary;
* Displays your records in a calendar graph;
* Allows you to take notes regarding cramps and PMS;
* Gives you the ability to compare your data from cycle to cycle;
* Provides additional information, hints and advice;
* Can be used by more than one user.
For more info please visit http://www.mobi-systems.com/pocketwoman/whatis.php3
Best regards,
Ira Koleva
Customer Support Dept.
ira@mobi-systems.com
support@mobi-systems.com
Wise Women Australian pads, etc.
Dear Harry,
I'm very impressed with your site and have placed a link on this site to yours and were hoping that you could place the following on your links page:
Wise Woman Business centering on women's (all ages) natural fertility and menstrual well being. Provider of courses and products. Offering advice on all aspects of Women's health issues from qualified midwife Kerry Hampton (MA), based in Victoria, Australia.
Also could you put a link on your products page please:
Wise Woman Pads are the Wise Woman's choice
Wise Woman Pads are a range of 100% organic cotton pads for menstruation, mild incontinence and nursing mothers. The pads are for wash and wear and are therefore reusable. They come in naturally grown colours of moss green, soft brown and natural. They also come in a range of shapes and thicknesses to suit your specific needs.
Regards,
Annette McNally
per Kerry Hampton
Menstrual cramping relief
Dear Mr. Finley,
Please link the following Web site to www.mum.org. The Web site is www.4hercomfort.com.
The product is Menastil, the first ever topical treatment of its kind developed specifically to treat cramping symptoms associated with the menstrual cycle. No known side effects; just simple targeted pain relief! Most women find relief in 5-15 minutes.
Thank you,
Nancy Schuley
e-mail: dorsett@snet.net
Where are the moon lodges?
Hi, Harry. Thank you for creating such a full resource online!
I am researching moonlodge and how successful women are in creating modern-day moonlodge. Do you know of any women or communities who actively hold a moonlodge space where bleeding women can hang out together and just bleed? I facilitate a group which meets twice a month to honor menstruation and am in the process of developing a paper on the importance of moonlodge. What are women doing? How are they coming together?
I searched your site for "moonlodge" and found a link to Susun Weed's gatherings in New York [see the next letter]. Did I miss other references? [This site shows older examples and from non-European culture, but little on present North American efforts. Send me information and I'll put it here.]
Thank you,
Coleen
Susan Weed's moonlodge, etc.
Hello,
We think your Web site, http://www.mum.org/, is extremely comprehensive and resourceful. We have listed it on our links page so our visitors can find you.
We would love it if you would be willing to link to us too. We have a two sites that may be of interest to you. I have included the links and descriptions below. We hope you enjoy them as much as we have enjoyed your site.
http://www.susunweed.com/z11%20moonlodge_sw.htm Women's Sacred Moonlodge. Celebrate moontime bleeding with ritual, song, and dance during our monthly moonlodge in Woodstock, New York, at the Wise Woman Center. Learn about the sacredness of your period, blood rites, healing in menstruation, our sister the moon, luna yoga and more at Susun Weed's Spirit Healing Site.
http://www.susunweed.com Herbal Medicine and Spirit Healing for Wise Women. Natural alternatives for women with health concerns including: menopause, osteoporosis, pregnancy, fertility issues, breast health and cancer prevention. Hundreds of woman-friendly links, a forum to share experiences and lots of information about Susun Weed - herbalist and author of women's health books - workshops, intensives, apprenticeships, and correspondence courses.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon regarding our proposed virtual alliance.
Most Sincerely,
Rachel Harris
susunweed@hotmail.com
www.susunweed.com
www.herbshealing.com
www.ashtreepublishing.com
www.ash-tree-publishing.com
www.menopause-metamorphosis.com
"Blood drive" and call for artists to help the poor
Use your creativity to help women in need!
The YWCA of Olympia is starting a project called "a different kind of blood drive to collect tampons and sanitary pads for the 7,400 women who use the YWCA's Other Bank Program. Each week, the Other Bank supplies approximately 100 women with tampons or sanitary pads. Every week, some women are turned away without feminine hygiene supplies because of lack of funds or donations. The average income for a family that uses the Other Bank is $500/month for a family of four. This leaves little money for the purchase of necessary "luxury items" such as tampons and pads, both of which cannot be purchased with food stamps.
Here's how you can help:
A portion of the YWCA's "Blood Drive" is going to consist of recruiting artists such as you to design buttons and/or magnets. The buttons will be sold at the Vagina Monologues at Evergreen State College, as well as in locations around the community. All of the proceeds will go towards the purchase of tampons and pads for the women who use the Other Bank.
We are looking for as many designs as possible, to encourage people to buy more than one button or magnet, as well as spread awareness of menstruation and the female voice. This project was inspired by Judy Chicago's "Dinner Party exhibit (I have attached several plates if you are not familiar with this work). Like Chicago's work, I visualize the "blood sisters buttons being yonic or vulvic in different levels of abstraction. Just as long as they are empowering to women, you have complete creative license. [See a print by Judy Chicago on this site.]
Here are the specifics:
The art should be submitted by 7 February 2002, but preferably earlier. The art should be circular, preferably two inches in diameter, although this is not necessary. It should be two-dimensional, or photographed if it is three-dimensional (I don't have the equipment or time to photograph it well myself). The art can be sent to me digitally at the address olybloodsisters@hotmail.com, or can be sent to me at the following address:
YWCA of Olympia
Blood Drive
220 Union Ave SE
Olympia, WA 98501
I hope that you are inspired to submit and design or two. This project will be a success if we have a big response.
If you have more questions, you can call me at the YWCA: (360) 352-0593 or email me at olybloodsisters@hotmail.com.
Gratefully,
Leanne Downs
She had never contacted a Web site before
Hi,
I've never contacted a Web site before, even though I'm always on the 'Net, but can I just say what a strange, interesting and clever set-up you've got going. This site has single-handedly given me more information than I could possible need.
My mother-in-law has to do an essay on menstruation through the ages, and she had no idea where to start, so she employed her Web-surfing daughter-in-law. I type menstruation into one search engine and found you! I've now got enough info for her to write "a complete guide to menstruation through the ages" !!!!!!!
Thanks for you help.
Regards
Adhesive pads: Do they hurt?
I remember the very first TV ad I saw for sanitary napkins that had adhesive on one side. I only saw the ad once and I suspect that all of America had the same response I did.
It was in 1979 and we lived in Texas. The ad came on and the voice said, "First there were belted. And there were beltless. And now for something completely different."
I turned to my wife and said, "Suspenders?" [That had already been tried about 100 years before - see them.]
We just howled. Never saw that ad broadcast again.
Once we got past that and it was explained that they had adhesive on one side, I asked, without at all trying to be funny, but asking because I really didn't understand, "But that's got to really hurt when you take them off, doesn't it?"
Don't eliminate the ten Regional Offices of the Women's Bureau of the Department of Labor
The Bush Administration is planning to propose, in next year's budget, to eliminate the ten Regional Offices of the Women's Bureau of the Department of Labor. This decision signals the Administration's intent to dismantle the only federal agency specifically mandated to represent the needs of women in the paid work force.
Established in 1920, the Women's Bureau plays a critical function in helping women become aware of their legal rights in the workplace and guiding them to appropriate enforcement agencies for help. The Regional Offices take the lead on the issues that working women care about the most - training for higher paying jobs and non-traditional employment, enforcing laws against pay discrimination, and helping businesses create successful child-care and other family-friendly policies, to name only a few initiatives.
The Regional Offices have achieved real results for wage-earning women for eighty-one years, especially for those who have low incomes or language barriers. The one-on-one assistance provided at the Regional Offices cannot be replaced by a Web site or an electronic voice mail system maintained in Washington.
You can take action on this issue today! Go to http://capwiz.com/nwlc/home/ to write to Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao and tell her you care about keeping the Regional Offices of the Women's Bureau in operation. You can also let E. Mitchell Daniels, Jr., Director of the Office of Management and Budget, know how you feel about this. You can write a letter of your own or use one we've prepared for you.
If you find this information useful, be sure to forward this alert to your friends and colleagues and encourage them to sign up to receive Email Action Alerts from the National Women's Law Center at www.nwlc.org/email.
Thank you!
Book about menstruation published in Spain
The Spanish journalist who contributed some words for menstruation to this site last year and wrote about this museum (MUM) in the Madrid newspaper "El País" just co-authored with her daughter a book about menstruation (cover at left).
She writes, in part,
Dear Harry Finley,
As I told you, my daughter (Clara de Cominges) and I have written a book (called "El tabú") about menstruation, which is the first one to be published in Spain about that subject. The book - it talks about the MUM - is coming out at the end of March and I just said to the publisher, Editorial Planeta, to contact you and send you some pages from it and the cover as well. I'm sure that it will be interesting to you to have some information about the book that I hope has enough sense of humour to be understood anywhere. Thank you for your interest and help.
If you need anything else, please let me know.
Best wishes,
Margarita Rivière
Belen Lopez, the editor of nonfiction at Planeta, adds that "Margarita, more than 50 years old, and Clara, 20, expose their own experiences about menstruation with a sensational sense of humour." (Later this month more information will appear on the publisher's site, in Spanish.)
My guess is that Spaniards will regard the cover as risqué, as many Americans would. And the book, too. But, let's celebrate!
Two weeks ago I mentioned that Procter & Gamble was trying to change attitudes in the Spanish-speaking Americas to get more women to use tampons, specifically Tampax - a hard sell.
Compare this cover with the box cover for the Canadian television video about menstruation, Under Wraps, and the second The Curse.
An American network is now developing a program about menstruation for a popular cable channel; some folks from the network visited me recently to borrow material.
And this museum lent historical tampons and ads for a television program in Spain last year.
Now, if I could only read Spanish! (I'm a former German teacher.)
Irregular menses identify women at high risk for polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), which exists in 6-10% of women of reproductive age. PCOS is a major cause of infertility and is linked to diabetes.
